How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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If You Think You’re Too Small To Make A Difference…

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Thank you for your comments about thinking like a Jedi — I'm so pleased that the post struck a chord with many of you! Today I have another idea to share with you, this time inspired by The Body Shop's Anita Roddick. I always admired her get-up-and-go attitude, as well as her no-nonsense approach to life. For me, she lived and breathed the belief that nothing is impossible, and she was passionate about getting that message across to people. For a time, she would have quotes and messages adorning the sides of her delivery lorries — one of which has stayed with me ever since I first saw it: “If you think you're too small to make a difference, you've never been in bed with a mosqu …

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Thinking Like A Jedi!

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My last post seems to have prompted lots of comments — and I'm glad, thank you. Corporate sociopathy is a major subject and one that I intend to continue exploring in my professional career. I shall let you know how I progress! In the meantime, this week I am encouraged to write about something else. Well, on the surface it may appear to be a different subject”¦ then again, it's to do with choice and action. It's also to do with responsibility — making a stand, whatever that may mean. I've titled this post “Thinking Like A Jedi” because I'd like to share with you something I call The Starwars Theory. Most people I talk to about this have at some point come across the film — even if they …

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RESOURCES PERSPECTIVES: Dealing with betrayal bonds

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Editor's note: Resource Perspectives features articles written by members of Lovefraud's Professional Resources Guide. Rebecca Potter works as a licensed mental health counselor in West Palm Beach, Florida. She can be reached at: tlc211@gmail.com. Surviving betrayal and trauma By Rebecca Potter Rebecca Potter profile in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide I recently attended a workshop by Dr. Patrick Carnes, Ph.D., author of The Betrayal Bond. I was shocked by the denial of the psychological community regarding the trauma experienced by survivors of emotional and sexual trauma. I took my worn and used copy of The Betrayal Bond to Dr. Carnes for his signature. He signed …

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Appeasement–an impossible goal with psychopaths

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By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired) The term appeasement is commonly understood to refer to a diplomatic policy aimed at avoiding war by making concessions to another power. Historian Paul Kennedy defines it as "the policy of settling international quarrels by admitting and satisfying grievances through rational negotiation and compromise, thereby avoiding the resort to an armed conflict which would be expensive, bloody, and possibly dangerous”¦ The word "appeasement" has been used as a synonym for weakness and even cowardice since the 1930s, and it is still used in that sense to denounce policies and behaviors that conflict with firm, often armed, action in international relations. From W …

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Healthy Friendships, Healthy Boundaries

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This is today's status for one of my friends on Facebook: “Let go of those who bring you down and surround yourself with those who bring out the best in you, and want the best for you” It's particularly apt for me at the moment, as the subject of what constitutes a healthy relationship has once again become something that is close to my heart. Last week, once again, I found myself re-evaluating the value of my friendships following a series of eye-opening realizations. Not just with one person, with a handful of people covering contrasting situations and differing levels of severity. Funny, don't you think, how sometimes the universe seems to conspire to make absolutely sure we get the poi …

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We can’t change them … so we must change ourselves

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By Joyce Alexander RNP (Retired) We must never forget that we may also find meaning in life even when confronted with a hopeless situation, when facing a fate that cannot be changed. For what then matters is to bear witness to the uniquely human potential at its best, which is to transform a personal tragedy into a triumph, to turn one's predicament into a human achievement. When we are no longer able to change a situation just think of an incurable disease such as inoperable cancer we are challenged to change ourselves. Dr. Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning I spent so much of my life trying to change others that it almost became a way of life for me. I was never very successful …

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Dancing In The Rain

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Thanks, again, for all your comments — I'm glad you seemed to like the more light-hearted approach on my last post! This week there have been so many things I could choose to write about that I simply don't know where to start. I can assure me, it's unlike me to be lost for words, but that's how it feels at the moment. You see, the past couple of weeks have been magical in so many ways. I have re-connected with old friends. Extraordinary business opportunities are opening up everywhere I turn. Publishing contract now agreed, the words are flowing for my first book (I am so excited!) And as if all that wasn't enough, one of my dear friends swam across The Channel from England to France t …

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Beginning the journey to wholeness

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Last week, I posted Letters to Lovefraud: Who we used to be, written by the reader who posts as “Panther.” She called herself a “new survivor,” having just left the sociopath and gone “No Contact” less than a month ago. She wrote: Through reading various Lovefraud articles, I've realized that the veterans have so much invaluable advice to offer. However, at times I wonder how the voice of a survivor sounded right after the break. The reason this matters to me is because the veterans seem so much stronger than I feel right now. I cannot help but wonder, as I read through their wise words, if they have something I don't have, which enabled them to get over this. To Panther and other Lovefraud …

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Where there is life, there is hope … or is there?

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By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired) One of the things I was raised to believe was, “where there is life, there is hope.” It was one of the precepts I was taught to believe to always keep “hope” alive. In the last few decades, there have been many advances in the medical profession's ability to save people that not long ago have surely would have died. My grandfather was one of the early members of my family who was “saved” from a sure death from pneumonia by the first “sulfa drugs,” antibiotics. It was a miracle, as he was already thought by the doctors to be “sure to die,” but he returned from the very brink of death and survived. With cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) and advanced …

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