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Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

You are here: Home / Archives for Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Are cats sociopaths?

December 22, 2012 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  102 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following from the Lovefraud reader who posts as NewLife43. I not only read Lovefraud to help me with the backlash from my 8-year relationship with my spath. I also read an interesting blog written by and for sociopaths, answering some of their questions, presenting criteria about what makes a sociopath what s/he is. It's very enlightening, particularly when I am sorely missing my ex-spath and need to remind myself why we are no longer together. Since it's on the Internet, the spaths are surprisingly honest. Sometimes, the posts can be very chilling, when they are honestly posting about the way they think, causing a shiver to run down my spine that I e …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Are cats sociopaths?Read More

Category: Explaining the sociopath, Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I guess something good came out of this story

December 6, 2012 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  27 Comments

Editor's note: The following essay was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Ms_Snowhite." I want to share with the readers at Lovefraud something that happened to me tonight, when I woke up in the middle of the night and I couldn't fall back to sleep. You know, it was one of those moments when you suddenly wake up, your mind is clear of everything and you start thinking. So I was lying on the bed thinking about the spath again and how there would probably never be justice for the things he has done to me, and then, I had started to think about other people that had hurt me a lot by intention in the past too. You know, friends that had betrayed me, co-workers that were …

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Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Recovery from a sociopath

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Whole relationships documented in phones is not proof of authenticity

December 5, 2012 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  82 Comments

Editor's note: The following article was written by a Lovefraud reader who uses the name "Transcendence." I had not received so much confirmation or documentation of being in a “relationship” before. The biggest problem was that he managed to rarely see me in person and he had a habit of cancelling and sometimes even “FORGETTING” dates. My first intoxicating Romantic Narcissist occurred 4 years ago and I had never experienced a suitor so sexy, seductive, intelligent, well written with poetic prose and boyishly handsome with seeming innocence. I remember waiting desperately for a return txt ”¦ or phone call ”¦ obsessively ”¦ this man could send me to heaven or throw me into the black abyss. …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Whole relationships documented in phones is not proof of authenticityRead More

Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Seduced by a sociopath

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Cognitive Dissonance and the Psychopath

November 25, 2012 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  86 Comments

Editor's note: The following article was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Betsybugs." The term cognitive dissonance is used to describe the feeling of discomfort and confusion that results from holding two conflicting beliefs. When there is a discrepancy between beliefs or beliefs and behaviors, something must change in order to eliminate or reduce the mental conflict. Psychopaths use cognitive dissonance to entangle victims, to keep victims confused and docile and to create pain. My story is a story of cognitive dissonance. My cognitive dissonance began in childhood when my father would go into rages, chase one of his daughters into a corner and beat the living daylights …

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Category: For children of sociopaths, Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Seduced by a sociopath, Sociopaths and family

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I lost myself in the relationship with a sociopath

November 14, 2012 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  83 Comments

Editor's note: The following article was submitted by a reader who writes as "Buffalo Girl." The boy across the street. I remember him back in the late 70's. My family had moved into the new neighborhood. I was 12. He was the popular 13-year-old who always hung out with the cool boys who were years older than him. And they seemed to idolize him. I remember the second day in my new catholic grammar school ”¦”¦ me, the new girl, and him already there for years. But the teachers were fed up with him. Second day of school. The head nun and a few teachers surrounded him in the hall. They were already frustrated and ganged up on him. Saying they've had enough and were not going to take anoth …

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Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Seduced by a sociopath

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: The sociopath didn’t take it all from us

November 9, 2012 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  14 Comments

Editor's note: The following article was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Adelade." I've experienced so much personal loss as a result of my second marriage that I don't know if I'll ever recover.  I lost my belongings, all of my inheritance, and I nearly lost my will to live.  When I returned home and the hot water wasn't coming out of the spigot, I took my little flashlight down to the basement - dirt and gravel floor, unheated, and housing a dead furnace.  I opened the door to the basement and was met with a wall of warm, moist air and the sound of running water.  It was 27 degrees, outside, and 37 degrees inside the shell of the dwelling where I'm currently liv …

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Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Recovery from a sociopath

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Lured and caught by a sociopath

November 4, 2012 //  by Donna Andersen//  92 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following article from a reader called "Makemenew2012." The Lure I met my second husband, an African immigrant, on a social media site in early January of this year. Mr. C (as I'll refer to him) connected with me through a mutual acquaintance and began sending me e-mails every day. At first, his messages seemed rather innocent— Mr. C asked how my day was going, what the weather was like, etc. But after a few days, he began fishing for information, inquiring about my husband and children. The first time, I ignored his question and responded on my own behalf. The next time, I replied that I didn't have a husband or children. And that was his cue to st …

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Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Media sociopaths, Seduced by a sociopath

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Trail of Water, Tears and Betrayal

November 2, 2012 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  52 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader who writes as "Esther." I am watching with horror as I see the devastation of Hurricane Sandy. The water and photos of devastation bring back memories for me of my experiences in South Florida—three hurricanes back to back destroyed my home. I was married to the sociopath at that time. He enjoyed the attention and the chaos. I was devastated and overwhelmed. The insurance adjusters, claims, trying to get tarps to protect the home from further rain and damage, the ceiling collapsing and the black mold that began to appear on the walls after the power was restored. Contractors could not be found, and the predators looking f …

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Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Recovery from a sociopath, Seduced by a sociopath

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: This year, holidays without the sociopath

October 31, 2012 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  65 Comments

Editor's note: The following article was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Adelade." Holiday seasons are looming on the horizon. For those of us who are in recovery, this time of year can be very depressing, or very liberating. For those who are still embedded in the World of Spath, the holiday season can be more desperate than any other time of the year. Before escaping sociopathic entanglements, the Holiday Season is a time of withhold/reward, predictable outcomes, and ruined expectations. "Perhaps, this year will be better. Perhaps, he/she will make the changes and save the relationship." Well, if the spath isn't engaging in withhold/reward, they're engaging in …

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Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Recovery from a sociopath

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Before marriage, do your homework

October 21, 2012 //  by Donna Andersen//  54 Comments

Editor's note: The following article was received by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Adelade." It's been over a year since I discovered that the man that I married had been living a double-life before we ever even met. My vulnerabilities were the beacon that he gravitated towards: exiting an abusive marriage, loving to my children, spiritually "grounded," artistic and creative, and all of these attributes and vulnerabilities in addition to a "socially connected" family with a colorful history were exploitable and desirable. I believed his words and assertions because I wanted to. I "needed" to feel validated and valued because I couldn't provide this to myself, on my own. I've …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Before marriage, do your homeworkRead More

Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Seduced by a sociopath

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