Recovery from a sociopath

By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) Years ago I used to think that healing from an emotionally devastating experience, like tangling with a psychopath, was like recovering from a physical illness or injury. If you cut yourself, you put a band-aid on it and a few days later, the cut was "healed" and you didn't need to work on it any more. Or if you got the flu, once you were over it, it was all done; you didn't have to worry about it again. Or if you got the measles once, you could not get it ever again, because you were immune. Now I realize that healing from an encounter with a psychopath is not like a simple cut that heals, never requiring any more care or even notice. It is also not …

Healing from a psychopathic experience is a continuing processRead More

By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) One of my cousins, a lovely lady in her early 80s, who still has every marble she ever had and a heart as big as a wash tub, sent me the following story in an e mail. I had heard the story years ago, but hadn't read it in a long time, but today when I read it, I thought about how the psychopathic experience makes this a very valuable analogy. A well-known speaker started off his seminar holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this." He ”¦ proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill. He then asked, "Who still wants i …

We are valuable, and the psychopath can’t take that valueRead More

Editor's note: The following article was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Adelade." She previously wrote, "Lessons from Jurassic Park: Sociopaths simply are." When I first realized that my marriage was over, I was literally overwhelmed with the ensuing emotions that followed my initial discovery. After the exspath left and I had an opportunity to do some in-depth financial research, the emotions centered around fear and despair. Fear with regard to my immediate and foreseeable future, and despair with regard to the gravity of the obvious marriage-for-money-only. I've been grappling with fear and despair for a good while, now. Sometimes, I have fits of one (or, both) that …

Finding the pieces of my soulRead More

By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) Wearing my “nurse Joyce hat” is part of what I am, although I am retired. Even though I am no longer in practice giving out specific medical advice to patients and billing insurance companies, Medicare and private payers for the advice, I still am inclined to look at things from a medical point of view. One of the things I used to teach my diabetic patients about their condition was that I was the “coach” and they were the “team.” I could not get out on the field of life and play the “game” they had to do it. But if I were not a good “coach,” and didn't teach them the “rules of the game,” they were not going to be able to play a good game. I told them t …

Taking care of ourselves–FIRST!Read More

By:  Linda Hartoonian Almas, M.S. Ed Last year, I re-connected via social media, with a childhood friend who I had not seen in years.  As mothers with children of similar ages, we had a lot to catch up on.  As we did, I learned that she has two children who are suffering from a misunderstood and often misdiagnosed disorder. She is a wonderfully positive person, who freely discusses her children's struggles, in hopes of educating others about the issue.  She advocates fiercely for them, yet seems to successfully strike a balance between speaking on their behalf and encouraging their independence. The same, only different Over time, as I learned more, I found that I identified with …

Stolen TimeRead More