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Archive for June, 2010

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: This was all about him and all about what he needed

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who we’ll call “Kay.”

Kay and the Loser in Aluminum Foil ”¦

 

He was prince charming, at least to me he was. We liked the same music, the same food, we spoke about the same topics, liked frequenting the same places, everything was so right.

My friends, however, had a complete aversion to his instant overbearing interest in all things Kay. He completely immersed himself in my life and was constantly “making sure” I was okay. He made sure he monopolized all my time. He would call me approximately 20-25 times a day. During working hours he made sure he called me at least 12 times. My … Read more

Posted in: Cases, Hooked by a sociopath, Spath Tales / Letters to Lovefraud

Woman with restraining order was arrested when ex violated it

The Denver City Council voted to pay $175,000 to settle a lawsuit filed by a woman who was wrongfully arrested.

In February 2006, Amy Shroff had a restraining order against her ex-boyfriend. When the man violated it, Shroff went to the police station for help. She was arrested instead.

Read Denver pays $175k to woman wrongfully arrested on kdvr.com.

Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader.… Read more

Posted in: Laws and courts

Released from prison, Dana McCann goes right back to scamming

Dana McCann claimed to be a CIA agent, private detective and lawyer, but his true profession was con artist. In 2002, he was convicted of scamming Massachusetts businessmen out of $1.8 million and sent to prison.

Released for good behavior in 2009, he went right back to scamming. He ran up hotel bills that he didn’t pay; he hooked up with a socialite and robbed her; he was working on his next victim.

This all sounds so familiar.

Read Scam artist Dana McCann sentenced to 2 years in prison, on masslive.com.

Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader.… Read more

Posted in: Cases, Laws and courts, Media sociopaths

Coming soon: Love Fraud, the book!

On and off for the past four years, I’ve been mentioning my upcoming book about my experience with a sociopath, James Montgomery, and my recovery from the ordeal. Well, the book, Love Fraud—How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan, is at the printer, and will be available in about a month.

In writing the book, I had five goals:

  1. Drawing attention to the problem of sociopaths.
  2. Showing how sociopaths weave their web of lies to trap people.
  3. Exposing the impotence of social institutions in dealing with these predators.
  4. Explaining why, from a spiritual perspective, we fall into these relationships.
  5. Offering hope that we can, even after these devastating encounters, recover and flourish.

I’ve launched a … Read more

Posted in: Cases, Donna Andersen, Recovery from a sociopath

Murderous partners

I’m going to address a disturbing subject: the motives, the thinking, of men who eliminate—yes, who murder—their partners.

But first a caveat: Females also sometimes eliminate their partners and share, I suspect, similar mindsets and motives with male murderous eliminators. 

And so what I write, here, applies, I suspect, across gender lines.

One other caveat—when I use the term “eliminate,” as you might suspect, I’m excluding killings in self-defense, of passion, and as responses to insufferable abuse.  This will be apparent as the discussion unfolds.

Last, by “eliminate,” I refer to two possible means of disposing of a partner—by one’s own hands, or by outsourcing the job.

So let’s hit the ground running: Why would a … Read more

Posted in: Explaining the sociopath, Steve Becker, LCSW

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Lost and really need help

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader who posts as BentNotBroken.

My head is so full that I don’t really know where to start.

I dated a man (off and on) for 2-1/2 years, and recently found out that he was having several long-term relationships at the same time. I had never been in an abusive relationship, so I didn’t know what the gut-wrenching feeling meant. I didn’t know to trust it.

My mind is playing tricks on me at this point. Is he or isn’t he? The signs are so obvious, but then I think of his face, his touch, his words, and I melt. How can this man ”¦ this love of my … Read more

Posted in: Hooked by a sociopath, Spath Tales / Letters to Lovefraud

The high cost of locking up sex offenders

Twenty states have “civil commitment” laws to keep dangerous sex offenders off the street after their jail sentences are complete. This year, the programs will cost a total of more than $500 million—five times the cost of regular incarceration.

Why? Because of all the behavioral therapists, social workers, psychologists and psychiatrists who are treating the predators.

In Lovefraud’s view, this cost could easily be reduced, because many of the sex offenders are psychopaths, and psychopaths can’t be rehabilitated. So the solution is to help those who can be helped, and throw the rest in jail.

Read: Treatment for a sexual predator costs a whopping $175,000 per person per year in New York: study.… Read more

Posted in: Donna Andersen, Laws and courts

What if he says he’ll get help?

Lovefraud recently received the following e-mail from a woman who we’ll call “Callista.” I’ll have some comments at the end.

This is yet ANOTHER email from a woman who realized she had been with a sociopath. In my case, it’s been for 8 years. He fits the bill on all counts, except that while his finances are always a mess, he met me when I was coming out of a divorce and mine were a mess too. So he didn’t see me as a “mark” he could use and swindle.

He is now paying me support and believe it or not he was not only impeccable about paying it to his ex-wife, he is also impeccable about paying … Read more

Posted in: Donna Andersen, Explaining the sociopath, Recovery from a sociopath

From Reality Show Central: Desperate Meth-lab Operators of Some Special County

Editor’s note: Here is the first of the satirical pieces by the Front Porch Talker. For background, see “My life with a sociopath,” posted yesterday. The name of the county has been changed.

By The Front Porch Talker  (A.K.A. Professor Smarty-pants)

Well, I guess you have to use that word: desperate.  After all, this is a Reality Show, right?  And, I am a ”˜desperate Meth-lab operator’ who is from Some Special County, Washington. We are filming on-location from inside of my Meth-lab trailer, which is actually a double-wide—there’s a difference.  In my double-wide is where I actually operate my Meth-lab business. And, for all intents and purposes, I am an operator. It is all authentic and Reality … Read more

Posted in: Cases, Female sociopaths

My life with a sociopath

Editor’s note: A Lovefraud reader who calls herself “The Front Porch Talker” is sorting through her devastating experience with a sociopath through her creative writing. Following is her introduction. Tomorrow, Lovefraud will publish one of the satirical pieces she has written based on her experiences.

Part One: My Life with a Sociopath
By The Front Porch Talker

The Sociopaths in my life:  “MP,” “DI” (both women), and “JP,” (a man)

PART ONE:  (I can only imagine telling this story in small parts. I hope that works for you).

I have tried to see this whole picture of what happened to me from a psychological standpoint.

Then, I tried to see it on a philosophical level.  But in the … Read more

Posted in: Cases, Female sociopaths

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