How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

You are here: Home / 2017 / Archives for July 2017

I am trying to remember who I was before he decimated me

//  by //  12 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as "msescue." I was married to a narcissist for 10 years and we had one daughter together. He was 4 years younger than me, had never been married and was a cute nervous wreck when we went out. It made me feel beautiful and empowered that at nearly 30 years old, I was able to attract a younger man who was NERVOUS to meet me. Our relationship moved quickly. We became pregnant after dating for only 8 weeks. But he was ecstatic about it and he was amazing throughout my entire pregnancy and our daughter's infancy. He treated me like a queen and it felt so good to finally feel like I had found someone who loved me for …

I am trying to remember who I was before he decimated meRead More

A sociopath’s capacity for deception and betrayal is almost unfathomable

//  by //  4 Comments

Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 50A: Oh My GOD!  On my lawyer’s advice, I called all the locksmiths in the area, and they agreed to refuse Paul entry to the house without my consent. Fortunately, the threat of me moving out with the kids and incurring the rent of an additional apartment big enough for two kids, two dogs, and me had worked. Paul never moved back into the house. At one of my early meetings with …

A sociopath’s capacity for deception and betrayal is almost unfathomableRead More

Never Good Enough (My childhood adaptation to abuse)

//  by //  Leave a Comment

By Eleanor Cowan I was eleven years old.  “Do you know what you are? asked Mother, thrusting open my bedroom door to find me, as she knew she would, in a predictable spot reading a predictable book. “I’ll tell you who. You’re a big, fat, lazy nothing.” Waving her souvenir from Mexico, a horsewhip, she flicked my hair up at the back as I hit the stairs to begin new tasks. Even though I weighed less than a hundred pounds, even though my chores were done and I’d earned the right to read for awhile, I did not defend myself.  There was no talking back, no disrespect, no arguing. Only one rehearsed sentence was permitted. I said it: “Yes, mother? What can I do to help?” Standing up for myself would …

Never Good Enough (My childhood adaptation to abuse)Read More

What you need to know to get a restraining order against a sociopath

//  by //  Leave a Comment

[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/FKa_uSBKa-g" title="Lawyer%20Megan%20Lyons%20explains%20why%20it%27s%20hard%20to%20get%20a%20restraining%20order%20against%20a%20sociopath"] Lovefraud Continuing Education webinar Obtaining Injunctions Against a Sociopath Presented by Megan Lyons, Esq. Tuesday, Aug. 1, 8-9 p.m. ET • $25 More info Sometimes sociopaths will not leave you alone. The involvement is over and you want to move on, but the sociopath is stalking you. Or, you can't totally escape the person — perhaps you have children together — and the sociopath uses every communication and exchange as an opportunity to harass you. An injunction or restraining order can help, but because socio …

What you need to know to get a restraining order against a sociopathRead More

What sociopaths want from sex

//  by //  14 Comments

Many, many people who were romantically involved with sociopaths have told me that the sex was amazing. Earth-moving. The best they ever had. At least, that's how it was in the beginning, while the sociopath was still reeling them in. The targets thought this amazing sex was proof of the real connection between themselves and the sociopath, proof that the two of them were wildly, deeply in love. The truth is that sociopaths are incapable of love. Oh, they're capable of feeling attraction. And they're capable of proclaiming love, very convincingly (especially when they're looking for sex). But they are not capable of genuine concern for another person's welfare, which is a key component …

What sociopaths want from sexRead More

One trait or behavior does not make a sociopath – look for a pattern of traits and behaviors

//  by //  1 Comment

I once heard from a man, whom we'll call "Jeff," who wanted to know if the woman he was involved with, "Amanda," was a sociopath. It started as a friendly involvement, with Jeff trying to help Amanda out. Amanda, who was from a foreign country, called Jeff her "best friend." Jeff eventually started to have feelings for her. But then came a series of unsettling experiences: Amanda made pornographic videos, which were posted on the Internet. Amanda worked as an escort. Jeff offered to pay her rent, so she wouldn't have to be an escort, and Amanda agreed—and continued being an escort anyway. Then Jeff asked Amanda to sign a contract promising that she wouldn't be an escort. She si …

One trait or behavior does not make a sociopath – look for a pattern of traits and behaviorsRead More

The sociopath’s “discard” is soul destroying — you learn your “soul mate” is pure fabrication designed to con, exploit, and hurt

//  by //  7 Comments

Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 49B:  Clarity And Its Consequences With each interaction with Paul, each toxic email, each review of my scary financial situation, each new piece of evidence confirming who and what Paul really was and how much my soul and strength had been sapped in his presence over nearly two decades, depression loomed and increasingly would not be denied. It was as if the earth opened up and sw …

The sociopath’s “discard” is soul destroying — you learn your “soul mate” is pure fabrication designed to con, exploit, and hurtRead More

Pawns: How psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists view their kids

//  by //  4 Comments

Psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists are incapable of love — even for their own children. According to Business Insider, Perpetua Neo, a psychologist who specializes in these personality disorders, says: "Narcissists, psychopaths, and sociopaths do not have a sense of empathy. They do not and will not develop a sense of empathy, so they can never really love anyone." Neo says that some of her clients were told by their disordered parents that, "The only reason I had you was so you could take care of me for the rest of your life." Why psychopaths cannot love their own children, according to a psychologist, on BusinessInsider.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …

Pawns: How psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists view their kidsRead More

Beautiful Liar — I confronted him with screenshots and he denied it all

//  by //  4 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader who posts as "miaxo." Names have been changed. Three years wasted. I met my ex 4 years ago. At a friend's house. I wasn't into him or attracted to him. But grew to be friends with him. A year later I get a text from him saying he likes me and wants to take me on a date. I was so tired of dealing with disappointment after disappointment from the dating scene so I took his offer. He took me to the movies, was attentive and the night went well. I texted him the next day to thank him for the date, and we texted non stop everyday. He was sweet, charming and gave me so much attention like I never got from a male before. He wanted …

Beautiful Liar — I confronted him with screenshots and he denied it allRead More

For a sociopath, why lie when you can deflect, discredit and distract

//  by //  1 Comment

Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 49A:  Clarity And Its Consequences A few weeks later, when we needed to inventory all of our physical assets, at my lawyers’ recommendation I invited Paul back to the house. Room by room, we agreed on the list of what we owned: furniture, outdoor grill, prints, appliances, jewelry, and so on. “Paul,” I said, “we need to add the items you already took or that you have at your offi …

For a sociopath, why lie when you can deflect, discredit and distractRead More