Archive for July, 2017

10 facts about your romance with a sociopath that you must believe, even though you don’t want to

329 shares

You’re shattered. You thought you finally met your soul mate, the person you were waiting for all your life. This charming, charismatic and attentive romantic partner swept you off your feet in a whirlwind romance. It was good — no, it was fabulous — until it wasn’t.

Perhaps you were subjected to the “devalue and discard” routine. Or you discovered that your partner wasn’t the person he or she claimed to be. However it happened, you are heartbroken.

I talk to a lot of people, both men and women, who are, or were, romantically involved with sociopaths. They’re devastated, of course. But what is truly mind blowing is the level of deception that they experienced. What they felt … Read more

Posted in: Donna Andersen, Explaining the sociopath

Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, offers free online video/voice support group Sunday Sept 10th 5 pm EST.

1 shares

Join our free online video/voice chat (your choice) Sunday, Sept. 10, 2017 at 5 pm EDT (to accommodate European time) at www.destructiverelationshipshelp.com. To join, send your Skype user name of phone number ahead of time (using the Contact Form at the bottom of the Home page) so you can be added to the group call.

Experience the support of people who know! Share your struggles and get feedback, support, and hope from others who get it. Hope to see you there!… Read more

Posted in: Uncategorized

I am trying to remember who I was before he decimated me

35 shares

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as “msescue.”

I was married to a narcissist for 10 years and we had one daughter together. He was 4 years younger than me, had never been married and was a cute nervous wreck when we went out. It made me feel beautiful and empowered that at nearly 30 years old, I was able to attract a younger man who was NERVOUS to meet me.

Our relationship moved quickly. We became pregnant after dating for only 8 weeks. But he was ecstatic about it and he was amazing throughout my entire pregnancy and our daughter’s infancy. He treated me like a queen and it felt so … Read more

Posted in: Spath Tales / Letters to Lovefraud

A sociopath’s capacity for deception and betrayal is almost unfathomable

25 shares

Every week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

Chapter 50A: Oh My GOD!

On my lawyer’s advice, I called all the locksmiths in the area, and they agreed to refuse Paul entry to the house without my consent. Fortunately, the threat of me moving out with the kids and incurring the rent of an additional apartment big enough for two kids, two dogs, and me had worked. Paul never moved back … Read more

Posted in: Explaining the sociopath, Hooked by a sociopath, O.N. Ward

Never Good Enough (My childhood adaptation to abuse)

23 shares

By Eleanor Cowan

I was eleven years old. “Do you know what you are? asked Mother, thrusting open my bedroom door to find me, as she knew she would, in a predictable spot reading a predictable book. “I’ll tell you who. You’re a big, fat, lazy nothing.” Waving her souvenir from Mexico, a horsewhip, she flicked my hair up at the back as I hit the stairs to begin new tasks.

Even though I weighed less than a hundred pounds, even though my chores were done and I’d earned the right to read for awhile, I did not defend myself. There was no talking back, no disrespect, no arguing. Only one rehearsed sentence was permitted. I said it: … Read more

Posted in: Eleanor Cowan

What you need to know to get a restraining order against a sociopath

14 shares

Lovefraud Continuing Education webinar
Obtaining Injunctions Against a Sociopath
Presented by Megan Lyons, Esq.
Tuesday, Aug. 1, 8-9 p.m. ET • $25
More info

Sometimes sociopaths will not leave you alone. The involvement is over and you want to move on, but the sociopath is stalking you. Or, you can’t totally escape the person — perhaps you have children together — and the sociopath uses every communication and exchange as an opportunity to harass you.

An injunction or restraining order can help, but because sociopaths are so slick, it can be difficult to convince a … Read more

Posted in: Lovefraud Continuing Education

What sociopaths want from sex

205 shares

Image courtesy of alexisdc at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Many, many people who were romantically involved with sociopaths have told me that the sex was amazing. Earth-moving. The best they ever had. At least, that’s how it was in the beginning, while the sociopath was still reeling them in.

The targets thought this amazing sex was proof of the real connection between themselves and the sociopath, proof that the two of them were wildly, deeply in love.

The truth is that sociopaths are incapable of love. Oh, they’re capable of feeling attraction. And they’re capable of proclaiming love, very convincingly (especially when they’re looking for sex). But they are not capable of genuine concern for another person’s welfare, which is a … Read more

Posted in: Donna Andersen, Explaining the sociopath

New Zealand woman steals $170,000 from her mother — and loses half to love fraud

6 shares

Image courtesy of Ohmega1982 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Irakau Ada Pehi, 60, who lives in Taranaki, New Zealand, was supposed to manage her 86-year-old mother’s finances. Instead of paying expenses according to her mother’s wishes, the woman stole $170,000.

Of that money, Pehi made for bank transfers, totaling $81,000, to an overseas bank. It turned out to be a Nigerian love scam.

Pehi pleaded guilty and was sentenced to a year of home detention and 200 hours of community service.

Fraudster loses half of $170k she stole in Nigerian love scam, on stuff.co.nz.

One trait or behavior does not make a sociopath – look for a pattern of traits and behaviors

32 shares

I once heard from a man, whom we’ll call “Jeff,” who wanted to know if the woman he was involved with, “Amanda,” was a sociopath.

It started as a friendly involvement, with Jeff trying to help Amanda out. Amanda, who was from a foreign country, called Jeff her “best friend.” Jeff eventually started to have feelings for her. But then came a series of unsettling experiences:

Amanda made pornographic videos, which were posted on the Internet.
Amanda worked as an escort. Jeff offered to pay her rent, so she wouldn’t have to be an escort, and Amanda agreed—and continued being an escort anyway.
Then Jeff asked Amanda to sign a contract promising that she wouldn’t be an escort.

The sociopath’s “discard” is soul destroying — you learn your “soul mate” is pure fabrication designed to con, exploit, and hurt

36 shares

Chapter 49B: Clarity And Its Consequences

With each interaction with Paul, each toxic email, each review of my scary financial situation, each new piece of evidence confirming who and what Paul really was and how much my soul and strength had been sapped in his presence over nearly two decades, depression loomed and increasingly would not be denied. It was as if the … Read more

Posted in: Explaining the sociopath, Hooked by a sociopath, O.N. Ward