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Lovefraud Blog

By September 28, 2017 0 Comments

Think of sociopaths as aliens — it may help you understand them

Image courtesy of hyena reality at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Perhaps the hardest thing to comprehend, and accept, about sociopaths is just how different they are from the rest of us.

I’ve spoken to hundreds of people who have tangled with sociopaths. Even when the mask has not only slipped, but shattered, even when they know the truth about what the sociopath has been doing all along, they still ask,

“But how could he do it?”
“He kept telling me how much he loved me; how could he cheat like that?”
“He said we were soul mates; how can he just up and leave?”
“How can he be so cold and calculating?”
“How can he look me right in the eye and lie?”
(Substitute “she” for “he” as necessary.)

By September 28, 2017 2 Comments

To a sociopath, your pain and torment is their delight

Husband Liar Sociopath

Every week, a chapter of my book, “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned” (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.

I’ve also just released a new ebook titled Narcissists, SOCIOPATHS & Wolves: Lessons From Little Red Riding Hood. (Just click here to find it on Amazon.com Narcissists SOCIOPATHS & Wolves.)

Chapter 52A:  The Tsunami Pounds Ashore

By September 27, 2017 4 Comments

When sociopaths use righteous indignation to exert control

By Eleanor Cowan

My husband liked to discuss discipline. The importance of it. The intrinsic value of restraining one’s impulses especially when such personal control would benefit the greater good of mankind.

My two children and I’d eat dinner while listening to his serious value-driven talks about what would please God and advance the salvation of this sorry world. Sacrifice and service topped the list. Politeness and containment followed.

It’s very hard to look back at those years of my disassociation – to calculate the degree of blindness and emotional paralysis that, unresolved, characterized my life since childhood in my first abusive family.

Posted in: Eleanor Cowan
By September 26, 2017 0 Comments

Did football star and murderer Aaron Hernandez have a personality disorder or a brain injury?

Aaron Hernandez

Aaron Hernandez

In 2013, Aaron Hernandez, the former standout tight end for the New England Patriots football team, was charged with murdering his friend. Hernandez had a history of violence and infractions with the law, so his behavior appeared to be that of a typical psychopath. For this reason, Lovefraud covered the story:

Aaron Hernandez charged with murder; his cousin charged with contempt, on Lovefraud.com.

Hernandez was found guilty of the murder on April 15, 2015 and sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole. Two years later, at the age of 27, he hanged himself in prison.

By September 25, 2017 8 Comments

How being devastated by the sociopath helped me find love

Donna Andersen and Terry Kelly married on February 12, 2005. We are still happy and in love.

In the course of our two-and-a-half-year relationship, my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery, took $227,000 from me, cheated with at least six women, had a child with one of the women, and then, 10 days after I left him, married the mother of the child. It was the second time he committed bigamy.

Once I learned the truth about his behavior, and realized the depth of his deception, I was totally, completely, crushed. But if I hadn’t been shattered by the sociopath, I would not have been able to love as I do now.

By September 23, 2017 0 Comments

Childhood experiences – including abuse – can alter your DNA

sad child

Scientists once thought our genetic blueprint was carved in stone — whatever we inherited from our parents was with us for life.

Research over the last few years, however, indicates that this is not the case. Genes can be modified by experience through processes referred to as “epigenetic.” This is especially true during childhood.

Recent research shows that childhood events, such as the family’s socioeconomic status or the absence of a parent, can alter genes responsible for regulating inflammation.

Experiences in childhood can alter your DNA for the rest of your life, on ScienceAlert.com.

By September 22, 2017 5 Comments

5 steps to recovery from the sociopath (they’re not fast or easy, but the healing is real)

Finally, you realize what is wrong with your romantic partner: He or she is a sociopath.

Finally, the behavior that was so confusing makes sense. The person you loved, and who you thought loved you, has a personality disorder. Now you realize that anything your partner told you could have been a lie. Now you know why your partner could be so cruel, then tell you how much he or she loved you, practically in the same breath. Now you realize that there never was any love, that your entire relationship was exploitation, and nothing more.

By September 21, 2017 4 Comments

Why I wrote, Narcissists, SOCIOPATHS & Wolves: Lessons From Little Red Riding Hood

Many of you know me from my book, Husband, Liar, Sociopath:  How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned. Through writing the book and including chapters on Lovefraud, I’ve tried to share the insights I paid such a high price to obtain. For almost twenty years, I was married to someone I now believe is a sociopath. My corrosive, confusing marriage, the toxic divorce, and the ongoing, financially and emotionally punitive post-divorce aftershocks redefined my life in ways I never imagined. I had to understand how my life got so derailed, how my confidence was decimated, and how my identity was almost destroyed. Through my book, I wanted to share what I’d learned in case it could be useful to others.

Posted in: Uncategorized
By September 20, 2017 0 Comments

My experience with my narc ex boyfriend

Left my ex since almost 4 years now, the hell I went through with him, it’s a miracle I’m still here.

Even though I’ve left he still pops up here and there doing the hoovering manuever, which is well known for borderline narcs. He would use the silent treatment on me and it drove me crazy as at that time. I had no idea about the narcissistic personality disorder one can have.

By September 19, 2017 0 Comments

Tyler Tessier pleads for his girlfriend’s life, after he allegedly killed her

Laura Wallen, 31, of Olney, Maryland, was last heard from on Sept. 4. She was a beloved high school teacher who was four months pregnant. Suspicion immediately fell upon her on-again, off-again boyfriend, Tyler Tessier, 32, of Damascus Maryland.

With the agreement of Wallen’s family, Montgomery County Police invited Tessier to speak at a news conference about the case. They wanted to hear what Tessier had to say. Tessier gave a command performance, pleading for Wallen to return. He neglected to mention that he allegedly already killed her.

Wallen’s body was discovered in a shallow grave on Sept. 13. She had been shot in the back of the head.

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