UPDATED FOR 2023: Everything sociopaths say is for effect. They are not capable of honest communication — every statement has an agenda. If you have a sociopath in your life, your objective is to get to the point that you simply do not take them seriously. When they are making promises, don't hope that this time they'll really come through. Your reaction should be, "Yeah, right." When you hear any of these statements, the best thing you can do is roll your eyes: Impossible — sociopaths are not capable of love Yes, they will — although it may take a while. Sociopaths can control their behavior, so if they need to walk the straight and narrow temporarily to convince you to stay, …
7 reasons not to seek closure from a sociopath
Relationships with sociopaths are intense. In fact, they are intentionally intense — the sociopath demands your attention, showers you with affection, and proclaims everlasting love quickly. What's the rush? They want to hook you before you escape. All their moves are intentional. You, of course, don't know this. You believe that the sociopaths are in hot pursuit because they are smitten and can't live without you. The two of you are, as they swear, soul mates. Then, either suddenly or slowly, the relationship is over. Huh? What happened? How could this person who painted a glistening picture of your future together just turn and walk away without looking back? You want to u …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I wanted him to be the guy of my dreams, but he’s nothing but a fraud
Editor's note: Lovefraud received this e-mail from a reader who we'll call Loralei, who wrote about meeting the “guy of her dreams.” At the end of her e-mail, I'll comment on it. When I was young, I was emotionally and physically abused by my mother. She didn't give me any black eyes, but I did get slapped, my hair pulled, and it was clear that the world revolved around my mother. I lived in fear, and when I wasn't the target of her anger, I was ignored. Fast forward 40 years. I am a successful businesswoman, I live in a nice Chicago suburb, I have friends, I like to help people, and I was tired of not having a love life. For some goofy reason, I posted an ad on Cra …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I wanted him to be the guy of my dreams, but he’s nothing but a fraudRead More
10 translations of ‘I love you,’ when spoken by a sociopath
UPDATED FOR 2023. Most sociopaths are really good at proclaiming their love. They often say the words "I love you" so quickly that it surprises us — how can they already feel that way? We just met! When we question them, they respond, "You're the one I've been waiting for all my life," or, "I just know that we're perfect for each other," or something equally endearing. We want to believe them, so we do. They keep pouring it on, until we fall in love with them. The big problem, however, is that our love is real and theirs is fake. Sociopaths are incapable of love. Even though they sound sincere and convincing, they literally do not have the internal wiring that makes it possible for t …
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13 very early warning signs that your new partner may be a controller
UPDATED FOR 2023. The best way to escape a controlling or abusive relationship is to get out before you are emotionally hooked. But how can you tell when a new romantic interest may turn into a problem partner? Here are 13 very early warning signs that may precede later abusive behavior. You are spending all your free time with your partner — perhaps even seeing him or her every day. If you spend any time with someone else, your partner seems hurt, annoyed or even angry. You may get calls and texts 24/7 — even if you are also spending a lot of time with this person. If you don't respond immediately and your partner demands to know why — well, consider this a serious warni …
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5 reasons why you can hook up with multiple sociopaths
UPDATED FOR 2023. Lovefraud received the following inquiry from a reader whom we'll call "Leslie-Marie," who believes that she was involved with multiple sociopaths. She writes: Is it not uncommon for people to have several relationships with sociopaths and/or narcissists throughout their life? I am wondering if you would do a write up on this topic as I find it so difficult to explain to others. They look at me in such disbelief, as if I'm making it up. It would be nice to have something to back me up. I can count 7 at least that I am certain of and have been closely involved with... Would you also consider explaining how this cycle can continue on what is it about us that …
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10 Reasons why sociopaths really are losers
UPDATED FOR 2023. If you're struggling to get over an encounter with a sociopath — whether a romantic relationship or some other involvement — keep this in mind: They are losers. They are not worth any emotional energy that you are spending on them, or any pain that you feel. Here's 10 reasons why: 1 Sociopaths cannot love the way you do The root of serious personality disorders — antisocial, narcissistic, borderline and psychopathy — is an impaired ability to love. These people cannot feel empathy like you do. They are not interested in caregiving — a critical component of real love. People diagnosed as antisocials or psychopaths are not capable of love at all. 2 …
When the parents of your sociopathic ex want to see their grandchildren
UPDATED FOR 2023. Lovefraud received an email from a reader who has a daughter with a sociopath and wants to know what she should do about the sociopath's parents, her daughter's paternal grandparents. She wrote: My issue with my daughter's paternal grandparents is that I don't trust them with my daughter. It's not because they are bad people, but because my sociopathic ex has victimized his parents over and over and over again and has no respect for what they say. His mother is his biggest enabler and both of his parents want him to be involved with our daughter (he has abandoned her) in the worst way. They pressure him about it nonstop. I fear that if I allow my daughter to be without …
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10 reasons why psychopaths get away with it
UPDATED FOR 2023. Why is it that psychopaths frequently get away with cheating, abuse, backstabbing, fraud, theft, and other nefarious activities — even murder? Here are 10 strategies that these exploiters may employ to escape accountability. They lie while looking you right in they eye, without a trace of nervousness or guilt. If they're caught in a lie, they easily lie to cover the lie. It's no wonder they are believed. They say they would NEVER do such a thing, and HOW can you possibly accuse THEM of such behavior? Everyone doubts you, and you even doubt yourself. If that's you, they ruin your credibility, often starting the smear campaign long before you even realize what t …
6 reasons why sociopaths seem so romantic – but they’re all fake
UPDATED FOR 2023. People who have been in a relationship with a sociopath frequently say that they were swept off their feet in a whirlwind romance. But what, exactly, does that mean? Here are six strategies that sociopaths employ to make you fall for them hard and fast — and why the romance is not at all what it seems to be. 1. Sociopaths want to be with you, or in contact with you, all the time They call for dates. They want to hang out. They book your calendar weeks in advance. They may go to great lengths to see you — driving long distances or booking a flight. You may feel overwhelmed with the attention, and believe that your new romantic interest is just so smitten with you …
6 reasons why sociopaths seem so romantic – but they’re all fakeRead More