How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Weak Boundaries, Needing To Be Nice And Being Vulnerable To A Sociopath

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Although almost anyone can be targeted by a sociopath, like most people, sociopaths are more apt to spend their energy where they have a higher likelihood of success. Sociopaths test boundaries early in relationships to find individuals, like me, whose boundaries may be weaker and, therefore, easier to violate.  Of course, for lots of reasons, once small boundaries have been crossed, it is easier to cross medium boundaries and crossing those makes violating larger ones all the easier. Trained To Be Nice It has taken me a painstakingly long time to understand this about myself and to admit the truth of it, but looking back, I can now see that as a child, teenager and young adult, I was …

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In sex and other matters, when does “yes” mean “no”?

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Editor's note: Joyce M. Short is the author of “Carnal Abuse by Deceit How a Predator's Lies Became Rape.” By Joyce M. Short Susy's Story A woman we'll call Susy met a man, Ruben, through the internet. His profile stated he was single and thirty-nine years old. He was an Army Colonel and newly back from his second tour of duty in Afghanistan. His experience had taught him how valuable family and loving relationships were, and he was determined to find the love of his life. After six months of dating, he asked for her hand in marriage. Ruben was great with her kids. She had a nine year old boy and twelve year old girl. Their birth father was on and off drugs and in and out of employment. The …

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After the trauma, emotional exhaustion

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Last week I wrote that my husband and Lovefraud co-founder, Terry Kelly, suffered a heart attack. I am very happy to report that Terry is doing really, really well, all things considered. After being unconscious for a week, he finally woke up. The next day, the doctors took him off of the breathing machine. He's now in a regular hospital room, rather than intensive care. He's eating, drinking fluids and sleeping when he's not coughing himself awake. Terry has started taking walks down the hospital corridor, assisted by a walker. His feet don't quite move the way they should, and he has some balance issues, although each day gets better. We hope he'll soon be moving to a rehabilitation …

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Grand jury finds Catholic clergy in Pennsylvania, shielded by bishops, abused hundreds of children

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Last week a Pennsylvania grand jury released a 147-page report documenting hundreds of cases of sexual molestation perpetrated by priests and other religious leaders in the Diocese of Altoona-Johnstown. No prosecutions were recommended, because the cases were too old mostly from the 1940s through the 1980s, the perpetrators had died, or the victims were too traumatized to testify. The report accused two bishops James Hogan and Joseph Adamec of covering up the crimes. Investigators raided church offices and found boxes and filing cabinets filled with details of children being abused, according to Philly.com. According to the grand jury report, Bishop Joseph Adamec kept a payout chart for how …

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Sociopath preys on widows and women whose husbands are dying

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Olive." The names in this story have been changed. I met Burt in July of 2013. My husband had passed away six months earlier. I was looking for company to go out to dinner, a movie, etc. He is a retired elementary schoolteacher who seemed very nice and caring. He works part time now as a substitute teacher. He had a great smile and a kind face. I am an RN who has been on long term disability since my husband became ill back in 2011. I have a son with autism who lived with me and an adopted daughter. I hoped to return to work after he passed away but was rear ended by a truck in March 2013 sustaining a …

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Revenge stalking, psychopathy, and the children

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I have access to some of the greatest minds in the world of psychopathy. For years, these individuals have studied, taught, researched, and written. Yet, when they have certain questions that they just don't understand, they ask me. At times, I sit back and think about how amazing that is. At others, I genuinely wish I had no clue about this subject. I lived with psychopathy. I watched it, learned, and put all of the pieces of this very complex puzzle together. Then, I spent a significant amount of time doubting whether or not it could be. But it was. It is. When I realized this, I set out to educate the world. I was on a mission that caused our worlds to collide. Before long, I …

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Why A Relationship With A Sociopath is Soul-Destroying–Some Thoughts

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Many people describe a long-term relationship with a sociopath as “soul-destroying?” Mine was. But, why? How does this happen. I'm still searching for all the answers, but here are some thoughts. Insidious Erosion Perhaps some, but not all, of the answer is erosion. Increasingly, he doesn't come home for dinner; she's chronically late for commitments with you; he flirts with other women in front of you, then denies it, attributing your concern to your insecurity; instead of engaging you over brunch, she's constantly checking her phone. Sometimes, she just ignores you. He contemptuously rolls his eyes as you voice your opinion, but denies it. He says he wants to take you to dinner and wants yo …

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She pursued me, produced divorce papers, but was married the entire time

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Gretta." Many of people join groups on Facebook with similar interests to meet up with friends and potentially if we find ourselves lucky or unlucky enough in my case something more. In my particular case, it was an older lesbian group on FB. I am going to share a very private, yet painful experience that I have encountered with you all in hopes this may prevent another person from going thru the emotional, heart breaking, financial and shameful experience that I have recently encountered. First a little history about me. July of this upcoming year, will be two years since my Wife passed away suddenly. I …

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An inside look at sociopathic callousness and betrayal

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In a post on Yahoo!, here's how a woman describes her mother: She was a woman motivated solely by money and other shallow luxuries of life. If her husband spent 17 days of a month out of the country, signing huge deals, it was only to bring to his beautiful (on the outside) wife all the extravagances he knew, she had an eye for - perfumes from Paris, dresses from London, and lipsticks from New York. My father was basically running errands to populate my mother's closet, in the guise of business meetings. While her husband was on these business/shopping trips, the wife entertained another man in her bed. And the woman telling the story well, the whole scenario affected her, although …

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