Hello. I'm Helen Beverly, an author and psychotherapist who writes under the name H.G. Beverly. I was married to a psychopath for over a decade and am still dealing with the challenges of raising our children “together” in a society that struggles to deal with psychopathy. I've written some posts about those challenges that you can find archived here on Lovefraud. Also, I published my memoir, The Other Side of Charm, in 2014 and am now releasing my next book one chapter at a time. You can find it here and on my blog at hgbeverly.com. It's called My Ex is a Psychopath, But I Am Strong and Free. This book details my healing journey despite failed systems that left me in constant contact with my …
Why No Contact With A Sociopath Is So Important
Healing from a relationship with a sociopath is hard, often brutally hard. Don't add to that by being hard on yourself if your own path is filled with dark days and setbacks--even setbacks you may have caused by diverting from a path of "no contact." We are human. We are imperfect. Seek support from those who understand and will not judge. It's okay. All we can ever do in life is to move forward. No Contact/No Emotion Yet, as soon as possible, no contact with a sociopath is important. If no contact isn't possible for legal, custody or other reasons, keeping the contact minimal and totally devoid of emotion is critical. Why? Because sociopaths feed on emotion. I just finished reading a …
Q&A with Amber Ault, PhD, MSW – clinical social worker specializing in personality disorders
Editor's note: Amber Ault, Ph.D., MSW, is author of "The Five Step Exit—The skills you need to leave a narcissist, psychopath or other toxic partner and recover your happiness now." She will also be presenting online courses in Lovefraud's upcoming Continuing Education program. What experience have you had dealing with sociopaths or other disordered personalities—personally, professionally, or both? I provide mental health assessment and services both to people who have personality disorders, including psychopaths, narcissists, and people with Borderline personality and to partners, family members, and others who are intimately involved with them. In my role as a mental health crisis wo …
The biggest sociopath was right under my nose, cleverly disguised as my husband
Editor's note: The Lovefraud reader who posts as "jukidragonfly" tells her story. Approximately 8 years ago I was the victim of a con-artist/sociopath. At that time I found “Lovefraud” and verified that my encounter had indeed been with a sociopath and con artist. This was the first time in my naive life that I entertained and considered that such individuals existed and was my emotional 9/11. Little did I know at this time that this was merely an entrée for what lay ahead. Fast forward 8 years and I now realise that the biggest sociopath that I had in my life was right under my nose, cleverly disguised as a magnanimous, caring, empathic individual, and who was also my husband. I spea …
The biggest sociopath was right under my nose, cleverly disguised as my husbandRead More
Labels and Lists Might Not Help
Hello, Lovefraud Readers. A quick reintroduction: I'm Helen Beverly, an author and psychotherapist who writes under the name H.G. Beverly. I was married to a psychopath for over a decade and am still dealing with the challenges of raising our children “together” in a society that struggles to deal with psychopathy. I've written some posts about those challenges that you can find archived here on Lovefraud. Also, I published my memoir, The Other Side of Charm, in 2014 and am now releasing my next book one chapter at a time. You can find it here and on my blog at hgbeverly.com. It's called My Ex is a Psychopath, But I Am Strong and Free. This book details my healing journey despite fail …
Sociopath Control: Social Isolation and Intermittent Reinforcement Equals Addiction
Abusive people often isolate the people they want to control. This happened to me and is chronicled in my book Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned (available via Amazon.com). Isolation is a Huge Red Flag Isolation is a red flag that should never be ignored. Due to Paul (not his real name) "working" such long hours and on weekends, we had virtually no social life as a couple. Yet, if I went out with friends alone, Paul was often home early that night waiting for me. Here's a Typical Exchange “Hi, Paul, it's great you're home. I thought you wouldn't be home ”˜til after midnight.” “We got done early,” Paul said, his face devoid of any “nic …
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So when is a spiritual leader actually a sexual predator?
Marc Gafni, denounced by many Jewish leaders as a sexual predator, is remaking himself as a New Age guru. The news prompted author Chaya Kurtz to write a blog post outlining the warning signs that clergy and gurus have ulterior motives when approaching women. A few of her warning signs are include: The spiritual man who thinks you're special The spiritual man who wants to see you outside of class The man who wants to spiritually connect with you through your body The spiritual man who pierces you with his eyes The religious man to whom the rules don't apply Many women have written to Lovefraud about being pursued and abused by men they met in church or through other religious or spiritual …
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Petition to stop Marc Gafni, former rabbi turned spiritual guru, from ‘abusing again’
Marc Gafni, of Pacific Grove, CA, wants to remake American spirituality, according to a recent profile by the New York Times. He's founded an organization called the Center for Integral Wisdom, to "evolve the source code for human existence," according to its website. Gafni's executive board of directors includes high profile supporters and New Age luminaries: John Mackey, co-founder of Whole Foods. Barbara Marx Hubbard John Gray, author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus Jack Canfield, author of Chicken Soup for the Soul Adam Bellow, Vice President and Editorial Director of HarperCollins Books But Gafni, who was born Mordechai Winiartz, was a rabbi until Jewish leaders essentially …
Petition to stop Marc Gafni, former rabbi turned spiritual guru, from ‘abusing again’Read More
In the wake of a sociopath, feel better with Energy Medicine
[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/Di5Ua44iuXc"] Involvements with sociopaths are often called "toxic." This is totally appropriate, because whether these predators engage in subtle manipulation and deceit that leaves you wondering what is "off," or whether they inflict outright emotional, physical, financial and sexual abuse, your body, mind and spirit are flooded with toxins. Sustained sociopathic exploitation drains you. Eventually, you can become so physically, emotionally and psychologically depleted that it becomes difficult to handle day-to-day life, let alone the drama of the sociopath. But to escape and recover from the sociopath, you need your strength. How can you rebuild it? …
In the wake of a sociopath, feel better with Energy MedicineRead More
Copia gratuita a los primeros 5 lectores de ‘Alertas Rojas de Estafa Amorosa’ en libro electrónico
Editor's note To Lovefraud's Spanish-speaking readers We are giving away five copies of the new Spanish translation of 'Red Flags of Love Fraud 10 signs you're dating a sociopath.' All you have to do is promise to post a review of it on Amazon! Regalamos cinco copias de la nueva versión en español de Red Flags of Love Fraud — 10 signs you're dating a sociopath a los lectores hispanohablantes de Lovefraud. ¡Tan solo tienes que cumplir la promesa de publicar una reseña del libro en Amazon.com! Ponte en contacto con donna@lovefraud.com. Más información: Lo que deben saber todos los que anhelan una relación sobre los depredadores sociales: Carisma, encanto, tanto en común y también seductor: ¿ …