I'm going to address a disturbing subject: the motives, the thinking, of men who eliminate—yes, who murder—their partners. But first a caveat: Females also sometimes eliminate their partners and share, I suspect, similar mindsets and motives with male murderous eliminators. And so what I write, here, applies, I suspect, across gender lines. One other caveat—when I use the term “eliminate,” as you might suspect, I'm excluding killings in self-defense, of passion, and as responses to insufferable abuse. This will be apparent as the discussion unfolds. Last, by “eliminate,” I refer to two possible means of disposing of a partner—by one's own hands, or by outsourcing the job. So …
The high cost of locking up sex offenders
Twenty states have "civil commitment" laws to keep dangerous sex offenders off the street after their jail sentences are complete. This year, the programs will cost a total of more than $500 million—five times the cost of regular incarceration. Why? Because of all the behavioral therapists, social workers, psychologists and psychiatrists who are treating the predators. In Lovefraud's view, this cost could easily be reduced, because many of the sex offenders are psychopaths, and psychopaths can't be rehabilitated. So the solution is to help those who can be helped, and throw the rest in jail. Read: Treatment for a sexual predator costs a whopping $175,000 per person per year in New Y …
What if he says he’ll get help?
Lovefraud recently received the following e-mail from a woman who we'll call “Callista.” I'll have some comments at the end. This is yet ANOTHER email from a woman who realized she had been with a sociopath. In my case, it's been for 8 years. He fits the bill on all counts, except that while his finances are always a mess, he met me when I was coming out of a divorce and mine were a mess too. So he didn't see me as a "mark" he could use and swindle. He is now paying me support and believe it or not he was not only impeccable about paying it to his ex-wife, he is also impeccable about paying me. This confuses me because he lacks the trait of screwing EVERYONE. Don't get me wrong, there i …
From Reality Show Central: Desperate Meth-lab Operators of Some Special County
Editor's note: Here is the first of the satirical pieces by the Front Porch Talker. For background, see "My life with a sociopath," posted yesterday. The name of the county has been changed. By The Front Porch Talker (A.K.A. Professor Smarty-pants) Well, I guess you have to use that word: desperate. After all, this is a Reality Show, right? And, I am a ”˜desperate Meth-lab operator' who is from Some Special County, Washington. We are filming on-location from inside of my Meth-lab trailer, which is actually a double-wide—there's a difference. In my double-wide is where I actually operate my Meth-lab business. And, for all intents and purposes, I am an operator. It is all authentic an …
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My life with a sociopath
Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader who calls herself "The Front Porch Talker" is sorting through her devastating experience with a sociopath through her creative writing. Following is her introduction. Tomorrow, Lovefraud will publish one of the satirical pieces she has written based on her experiences. Part One: My Life with a Sociopath By The Front Porch Talker The Sociopaths in my life: “MP,” "DI" (both women), and "JP," (a man) PART ONE: (I can only imagine telling this story in small parts. I hope that works for you). I have tried to see this whole picture of what happened to me from a psychological standpoint. Then, I tried to see it on a philosophical level. But in th …
What is on that computer? Ask Scout
If you're looking for evidence about what your spouse is really doing on his or her computer—evidence that you can use in court—look into the Scout. The Scout is a device and service offered by Catch-A-Cheater.net. It was invented by Rob Moody, a forensic data specialist with 15 years of experience finding information on hard drives for corporate, government and law firm clients. What kind of information can a computer forensic examination find? Here are some examples from Moody's case files: • Trip with the mistress: A guy used a travel agent to book and pay for a trip for himself and another person, who was not his wife. The trip was confirmed via text. He thought the text was dele …
Love Fraud is a new classic on sociopathy
By Steve Becker, LCSW Steve Becker, LCSW, profile on the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide. In Love Fraud: How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan, Donna Andersen has written the most compelling nonfiction account of a relationship with a sociopath I've ever come across. In her Introduction, Andersen is careful to assert as “opinion,” rather than fact, that her ex-husband, James Montgomery—her central, but by no means only—subject in the book, is a sociopath. From my careful reading of Love Fraud, I'd suggest no such qualification is needed: Montgomery seems to me to embody the classic sociopath perfectly. This book is many things: it is, first of all, a flat-out “pag …
Domestic violence and digital abuse
In a local tragedy a week ago, a woman, Tracy Coleman, her brother and her 13-year-old son were shot to death by the woman's boyfriend, Sharif Whitlock. The murders took place 45 minutes after the woman had filed a domestic violence complaint against her boyfriend. The perpetrator fled the scene and later hanged himself. The case was the lead incident in a story published yesterday by my local newspaper, the Press of Atlantic City. It was entitled, Hamilton Twp. shooting deaths show familiar domestic violence outcome. The well-done story focused on the larger issue of domestic violence. In Atlantic County, New Jersey over the last two years, 13 people have been killed in domestic violence …
What can we learn from Joran van der Sloot a sociopath?
Geraldo Rivera provided his analysis of the ”¦ Natalee Holloway disappearance case. Prime suspect Joran Van Der Sloot has given a series of interviews proclaiming his total innocence. "The lie that he has fastened on," Rivera pronounced, "is that he took her on the beach but didn't have sex because he didn't have a condom, then left her on the there. It's at odds with the story he told earlier, but as he tells this story he becomes more confident and more glib. I believe there is a pathological aspect to this man." The Factor concurred that Van Der Sloot seems psychologically unbalanced. "I can't figure out why he wants do these interviews because he comes off as a sociopath. If he makes one …
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Love Fraud: A courageous work helps readers comprehend the reality of sociopaths in our midst
By Fannie LeFlore, MS, LPC, CADC-D Fannie LeFlore profile in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide Habitual liars and cheaters, con artists and swindlers are extremely self-centered and controlling people. They focus on manipulating other people simply as a way of life, for their own benefit. People like Donna Andersen clearly know what this kind of evil looks like. They know because they once trusted people who turned out to be sociopaths—people who deceived them intentionally, who took from them both tangible and intangible things of value, through encounters in romantic, familial or business relationships, whether over a period of hours, days, weeks, months or years. Now, with t …