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How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

You are here: Home / Archives for Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales
letter to lovefraud

My wife was diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder, delusional disorder, and schizophrenia, but I wouldn’t change a thing

May 9, 2017 //  by outvth3fog//  Leave a Comment

Lovefraud received the following letter from a man who posts under the name of "outvth3fog." I thought my past 12 years with my 10 year old son's mother was bad. Well, anyone's worst nightmare became reality in March of 2016. Rewind to summer 2015, to when I had that gut feeling that I was being wronged by her. I didn't understand things then the way I do now, but she would accuse me of having affairs without having anything to make her think that. It made me suspicious of her, especially when she would demand my phone after getting out of work, which I willing gave it to her. Here we were again the same process, that I thought was over. After so many lies and cheating I fell in love …

My wife was diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder, delusional disorder, and schizophrenia, but I wouldn’t change a thingRead More

Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Seduced by a sociopath

Spath Tales

She presented as a sweet person with good manners, but she was a covert narcissist

May 4, 2017 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  7 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a woman whom we'll call "Georgia." My story is three years in a same-gender relationship that began with off-the-charts chemistry. At 6 months the love bombing stopped and things slowly changed. In my personal experience there is a 'lesbian disadvantage' in the narc world because both these relationships often contain 4 of the most common traits; (a) lesbian bed-death at 3-6 months (same as the end of the love bombing), (b) self centered in nature, (c) moves the relationship to intimacy very quickly. (d) promiscuous behaviour & cheating. There were red flags that I saw and ignored which puzzled me because I had no …

She presented as a sweet person with good manners, but she was a covert narcissistRead More

Category: Female sociopaths, Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

letter to lovefraud

No matter what they say, sociopaths only want power, control and sex

April 17, 2017 //  by Donna Andersen//  1 Comment

Two Letters to Lovefraud both had the same theme: Sociopathic men who relentlessly pursued women, proclaiming their love, making glowing promises of a committed relationship. The men pushed for sex, and although the women resisted, eventually, believing they were involved in real romances, the women succumbed to the men’s physical desires. With that, both women were dumped. Read the letters here: I met him on Facebook, was used for sex and dumped the next day I felt bonded, even though this made me nauseated Both women were astounded at how they were unceremoniously booted. They had a hard time coming to grips with the idea that they’d been used and abused. How could a man say all …

No matter what they say, sociopaths only want power, control and sexRead More

Category: Explaining the sociopath, Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

letter to lovefraud

How do I recover from a manipulative friendship?

April 10, 2017 //  by Donna Andersen//  9 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Lois." I have no one to turn to, as I have never spoken to anyone regarding my friendship with the narcissist apart from the narc, which suited him perfectly. This friendship was in person but I live in a different city so it was mostly on the phone and a few face to face meetings during the year. However, I was also dropped and put in the box as needed, and picked up as soon as he would leave his families' or friends' home and work. And I had to be there when he was ready to make contact. However, the same did not apply to him. Many times when I needed to lean on him he was not contactable. I have gone …

How do I recover from a manipulative friendship?Read More

Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

letter to lovefraud

Before I felt angry, now I feel sad – I need advice

April 4, 2017 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  13 Comments

Editor's notes: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader who posts as "Kaki Pants." I just came out of a relationship, a year long relationship, which I think the guy might be a psychopath after telling the whole story to my male friends, female friends never would have thought he could be a psycho btw. Men and women think very differently. So I met this guy a year ago, last April through an online dating app. We met for several times, dinners, lunches, coffees, I took it slow, cuz I didn't want to get myself attached too soon before knowing who this guy really is. Obviously, I didn't take it slow enough in the end. We got together; everything seems well. He runs a startup …

Before I felt angry, now I feel sad – I need adviceRead More

Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

letter to lovefraud

The tables were turning – I was not the easy open target anymore (Part 2)

February 8, 2017 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  6 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Celia." Names have been changed. Read Part 1. His home loan Out of the blue one day, probably two weeks after I had arrived, he had me sit on his lap, and was stroking my arm lovingly. He casually asked if when my home sold, I could put the proceeds into his home loan. I got the strangest twinge of panic inside me, and asked him why I would do that. He immediately threw me off his lap and became tense and argumentative. To calm him down, I suggested we maybe buy a holiday home together along the coastline somewhere. He was not interested at all. Thinking back, he probably had a stinky credit record and …

The tables were turning – I was not the easy open target anymore (Part 2)Read More

Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

letter to lovefraud

The tables were turning – I was not the easy open target anymore (Part 1)

February 7, 2017 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  Leave a Comment

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Celia." Names have been changed. Hi Donna, I have been reading your blog for a few years now and although I have not made myself visible, I have been active reading all the stories and advice you have shared with everyone. Your blog created an awareness within myself of just what I had encountered, and why I felt so traumatised during and after the relationship. There were times I could not bring myself to read some of the stories, as it brought back so much of the trauma I was wanting to suppress. My relationship was very short, about 6 months in total, but nevertheless, shattered my dreams and faith in …

The tables were turning – I was not the easy open target anymore (Part 1)Read More

Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

Spath Tales

I continued to choose him over everyone and everything that ever mattered to me

January 27, 2017 //  by Donna Andersen//  16 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received this story from a reader whom we'll call "Ellie." This is the story of how I allowed myself to become emotionally dismantled by the man to whom I chose to give my heart. I loved him unconditionally. I accepted and forgave him without judgment. I empathized with stories of his childhood, when he felt unseen, unloved and insecure. I nurtured him through times of deep depression, drug abuse and alcoholism. I made excuse after excuse by rationalizing his behavior and convincing myself that I knew he could be more than what he was. I believed he could be the man I saw him to be, the man he wished he could be ”¦ I held on to hope that it would be ok, and that th …

I continued to choose him over everyone and everything that ever mattered to meRead More

Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

Spath Tales

Husband takes his new wife shopping on their honeymoon, buys her expensive gifts, and then she asks for divorce

December 21, 2016 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  Leave a Comment

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from an American man, whom we'll call "Brad." He met a Moroccan woman who lived in the U.K. We'll call her "Fatima." Fatima and I had unforgettable memories, which would be the base of any marriage. We laughed, we joked, we traveled, we spent so much time together. I took her with me to Morocco with our group going to Casablanca because I really liked her and wanted to spend time with her. We enjoyed lots of moments together, and she helped me with business, religion, and talked about all areas of life with me. She was such a great friend ”¦ easy going, fun, down to earth ”¦ relaxed ”¦ and it seemed like she really wanted to be with me …

Husband takes his new wife shopping on their honeymoon, buys her expensive gifts, and then she asks for divorceRead More

Category: Female sociopaths, Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

Spath Tales

I will never forget how he looked at me – I felt I was standing in front of the devil

December 14, 2016 //  by Donna Andersen//  69 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a woman whom we'll call Gemma, who lives in England. Names have been changed. In August 2015 I was contacted on one of the pen pal websites by a guy named Brad, from a village in Michigan. Brad is a 35 year old veteran who works part time as a mechanic. He is also a village council trustee, with ambitions to become a village president one day. We started talking on a daily basis, He was very charming and entertaining and seemed very reliable, always responding to my messages almost instantly. Brad told me that he was married for the second time and his wife was pregnant. He said that although his current wife was better than the …

I will never forget how he looked at me – I felt I was standing in front of the devilRead More

Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Lovefraud Continuing Education

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  • recovery46 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: He assured me he would never, could never hurt me like that again: “Bernice—it’s 2025 and my experience with the spath was EXACTLY the same! I kept rereading bc all the details were…”
  • sept4 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Letting go of monetary justice is releasing the ties that bind: “This is what I actually struggle with most now that I am a decade out of divorce. I did not…”
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  • sept4 on 10 Crucial strategies for leaving the sociopath: “All very true and very good advice. I would like to add that too can always call police if you…”
  • eleanoreliza1234 on When bad behavior shows symptoms, not flaws  : “What a beautifully composed response by Emilie 18! Reassuring to know that others have experienced the same. Thank you, Emilie.”

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