How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Weak Boundaries, Needing To Be Nice And Being Vulnerable To A Sociopath

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Although almost anyone can be targeted by a sociopath, like most people, sociopaths are more apt to spend their energy where they have a higher likelihood of success. Sociopaths test boundaries early in relationships to find individuals, like me, whose boundaries may be weaker and, therefore, easier to violate.  Of course, for lots of reasons, once small boundaries have been crossed, it is easier to cross medium boundaries and crossing those makes violating larger ones all the easier. Trained To Be Nice It has taken me a painstakingly long time to understand this about myself and to admit the truth of it, but looking back, I can now see that as a child, teenager and young adult, I was …

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Revenge stalking, psychopathy, and the children

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I have access to some of the greatest minds in the world of psychopathy. For years, these individuals have studied, taught, researched, and written. Yet, when they have certain questions that they just don't understand, they ask me. At times, I sit back and think about how amazing that is. At others, I genuinely wish I had no clue about this subject. I lived with psychopathy. I watched it, learned, and put all of the pieces of this very complex puzzle together. Then, I spent a significant amount of time doubting whether or not it could be. But it was. It is. When I realized this, I set out to educate the world. I was on a mission that caused our worlds to collide. Before long, I …

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Why A Relationship With A Sociopath is Soul-Destroying–Some Thoughts

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Many people describe a long-term relationship with a sociopath as “soul-destroying?” Mine was. But, why? How does this happen. I'm still searching for all the answers, but here are some thoughts. Insidious Erosion Perhaps some, but not all, of the answer is erosion. Increasingly, he doesn't come home for dinner; she's chronically late for commitments with you; he flirts with other women in front of you, then denies it, attributing your concern to your insecurity; instead of engaging you over brunch, she's constantly checking her phone. Sometimes, she just ignores you. He contemptuously rolls his eyes as you voice your opinion, but denies it. He says he wants to take you to dinner and wants yo …

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Catfish Romance Scams; Why They Should be Outlawed!

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By Joyce Short Author: Carnal Abuse by Deceit Catfish are swindlers who trick people into romance. They post false information on the internet to get you hooked. Catfish romance scams can happen when people don't meet, as well as when they do. There's no limit to how the relationship progresses. Sexual bonding is caused by chemistry in your brain. Some people lack this brain chemistry, but for those who have a healthy dose of it, they'll become addicted to their lover, just like if they injected or snorted an addictive drug. To read the rest of this insightful look at catfishing, read Joyce Short's post: Catfish romance scams why they should be outlawed!       …

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Sociopaths are Superb Natural Psychologists

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Sociopaths are superb natural psychologists, but they use their insights about human behavior to control and erode. Past Frameworks Bias How We Perceive New Information The world is not black and white; it includes countless shades of grey. To create meaning and clarity out of the grey, we use past frameworks (e.g., my ex-husband, "Paul," is a good, honest person) to process incoming data (the fact that he so often works late reflects his dedication to his career and commitment to support his family). Yet, once this framework has been established, and once we create an explanation (accurate or not) for how an event fits into the framework, we have created a pathway. Repetition Increases The …

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Sue Klebold, mother of Columbine High School shooter, tells her story on ABC 20/20

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On April 20, 1999, two students from Columbine High School in Jefferson County, Colorado, went to school intending to kill as many people as possible. In a 49-minute massacre, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold killed 12 students and one teacher, shooting many of them at point-blank range. They injured 21 additional people. Three more victims were injured trying to escape the bloodbath. Columbine High School massacre, on Wikipedia.org. Worried parents heard about the shooting as it was underway, and feared for the safety of their children. One of them was Sue Klebold, mother of Dylan Klebold. But Sue's worry turned to horror when she realized that her son was one of the murderers. Sue Klebold has …

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If I Explain it Right, He’ll Care

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Chapter 7 If I Explain It Right, He'll Care In most of our daily arguments with people we love, both sides are right. It can be mind boggling to look across the table at your partner and realize that they feel just as certain in their position as you do in yours. Some of us withdraw at the point where two "right" sides meet because we hate conflict. Some of us love that spot and try to live as much of life as possible in the state of an exciting debate. Some of us always feel we're even more right than the other and are compelled to explain why, whether anyone else wants to hear it or not. But regardless of our natural tendencies, the bottom line is this: our ability to work through daily …

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Warning: Sociopath Ahead!

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A friend of mine feared her daughter was involved with a sociopath who was pressuring her to have children with him. Knowing I'd had my life derailed by my own husband (now ex-husband), who I now believe is a sociopath, my friend asked me to tell her daughter some of my story. As one never knows if a seed of information will later blossom into insight, I wrote her daughter a letter.  The entry below is based on that letter. Wonderful Qualities Become Profound Vulnerabilities I believe my ex-husband and the father of my children has a personality disorder—narcissistic personality disorder—some refer to such individuals as sociopaths or psychopaths. Such people are more common that most of us e …

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Who exactly is a potential victim of psychopaths or sociopaths?

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Chapter 5 Who is a potential victim? Everyone is a potential victim of a psychopath. There are two basic reasons why, and my goal in this chapter is to make them clear for you. Why? Because too many people think they can't be fooled or that they're too strong to be a victim, and those beliefs put us in danger of being swept away and devastated by a psychopath. Here are my two points, up front. First, psychopaths handle deception differently, and it catches us off guard. Almost anyone can be fooled, even professionals. Second, the most masterful unincarcerated psychopaths can give a very warm impression and/or they talk incessantly about their values. We are not brought up to anticipate …

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