Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following poem from a reader whom we'll call "Chandra." She says, "My poem is an expression of how it feels to discover all the lies, remembering the well-applied pressure, and sometimes the fear of of living with a sociopath." Origami They start with the basic material. Find the right size and shape. With the right texture and resistance. Then, the adjustments start. The first folds, as important as any others to follow, carefully considered and made. A few more folds. Both large and small, then turn it around. Pressing those folds in firmly, so they take. Adjustments made, worked into the piece, rather than wrong folds taken back. Turn it around. Fold …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: He wanted to drive her car, but didn’t want their child
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as "ifiwereabird29." I met him in 2009 at my job. He asked me for my number and his wit and funny personality won me over. The first night we talked, we talked for 6 hours straight. I was completely mesmerized. At the end of conversing, he stated, “You and I will be dealing with each other for a long time.” I was elated. I had graduated from college two years prior and I was certainly ready for love. I wasn't the girl who guys often pursued so when he pursued me, I was wide open! I had many red flags but chose to ignore them out of pure desperation. I will admit that I was too ready to jump into a relationship. The …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: He wanted to drive her car, but didn’t want their childRead More
‘Magnetic first gaze’ – a poem about my experience with a sociopath
Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader, Ashley K, sends the following: I recently went through an awful experience with a man who I truly believed was trying to be my friend. A few months ago I woke up to what his true intentions were when his actions weren't matching up with his words and he initiated a discussion with me regarding developing romantic feelings for me. I was targeted by a man who I strongly believe is sociopathic. To complicate matters, he started dating my friend, who I think became the apath and I am the empath. I told my husband and my friend exactly what happened - my husband was upset but forgiving. My friend's words indicated that she believed his story, which, of course, …
‘Magnetic first gaze’ – a poem about my experience with a sociopathRead More
On Tinder: Raising awareness of domestic abuse
Women in the Miami, Florida area who are scrolling through the dating profiles on Tinder, a location-based dating app, are seeing profile pictures that draw attention to the issue of domestic violence. Women in Distress, a domestic violence center in Florida, sponsored the awareness campaign with fake profiles in the exact place where women are looking for potential romantic interests. The organization also created a YouTube video about the Tinder campaign, although it has been taken down. I wonder why? Domestic violence charity creates fake Tinder profiles for abusive men in order to show women who are seeking love online how quickly a relationship can 'turn ugly,' on …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Deception from the first encounter, and every single day thereafter
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader who posts as "amille2." When my boyfriend..........or should I say the man I thought was my boyfriend...........walked out the door a couple of days ago, I told him I felt like I had been sucker punched. He replied, "No, you haven't" and shut the door. Just two days before that, I read his wife/girlfriend?'s grandmother's obituary whereby he was listed as the husband/significant other. The physical jolt that went through my body was immense ........... followed by the sound of every lie I had been told for the past 5 years clicking open in front of me to see ........... really see this time. Then they all came crashing down …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Deception from the first encounter, and every single day thereafterRead More
After 30 years with a sociopath, she’s now having the time of her life
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a 67-year-old woman whom we'll call "Maura." Lied, cheated, used me and others. Serial adultery, pornography, probable bisexual behaviors, never used condoms. I didn't know about the adultery until much later. He suffered a head injury, and I mistakenly attributed his bad behaviors to that. Violent and aggressive. Marital fraud; some possessions, like a boat and trailer, "disappeared." Claimed money and objects were stolen, but never reported thefts to the police. Nagged and pestered me constantly to buy large items, mostly vehicles, that we couldn't afford. Developed "hobbies" that kept him away from home on a regular …
After 30 years with a sociopath, she’s now having the time of her lifeRead More
Married to a sociopathic pastor for 55 years
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Caroltta." I am 72 ”¦ was married 12/60 ”¦ found out in 1/14 my husband, a pastor for 45 yrs., committed adultery @ every pastorate. In fact, he says he has no idea how many x's & does not remember all the women. There was incest involved in his promiscuous life. He considered divorce for many of his women, but knew he could not preach after that, so his last girlfriend convinced him to murder me & they had a plan which did not work out because I told him I was retiring & he could come with me or not. He has been afraid to do anything, because it would mean no further contact with his …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Am I a victim of a psychopath?
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a woman from India whom we'll call "Nisa." I had a relationship with a man in the last year. He was in his separation at that time. I gradually fall for him. He told me about his wife and said that she cheated him in a very bad way by involving with another guy and she is not normal, has dual personality disorder. I felt the pain of this person in my heart and gradually became attached to him. As the day passes I started loving him. He said he loves me a lot. 'I fell as a boyfriend, I fell as a husband for you,' this was his language. Till one and a half months things were going good, but after that he became very possessive. He …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Am I a victim of a psychopath?Read More
Why I wrote ‘The One That Got Away’
By Brigitte Knowles It was 2011, a good year. I made $235,000.00 in my business that year and was at the top of my game. I went out for drinks with a girlfriend in Delray Beach, Florida. My life was only about work and I did not realize that I was out of balance. I had not gone out to a club for years and at 55, I was not a frequent dater, celibate for 5 years. I was ripe for the picking. I did not know that there were Financial Predators in this world. I was targeted by an Italian man who professed true love and wanted to do real estate business with me. He asked for down payments to buy distressed housing in West Palm Beach. We visited several with two real estate agents, mine and his. …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I confronted him with what I learned, and was told I was a psychopath
Editor's note: The following story was sent by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "CatieJane." I just finished reading a book about narcissists, written by a woman that in the book mentioned this site. I have now for several days, considered whether I should write here - and the reason I have doubts. Is that I still have doubts about whether it really is my ex or me that is "crazy" ”¦ I do not live in an English speaking country, I come from Denmark. So if I dont write proper English, I apologize in advance. My story ”¦ For 8 years I have been with my ex. 8 years that has been crazy. When I met him 8 years ago, he was this wonderful, loving, caring man. (Had never seen a man be so …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I confronted him with what I learned, and was told I was a psychopathRead More