I received the following email from a woman, whom we'll call "Adriana," who had been in touch several years ago about the psychopath in her life. Her experience was so outrageous that I wrote it up as one of the True Lovefraud Stories. As you'll see from her email, after that destructive involvement, she met three more psychopaths. Her question is, "Why?" Read her story: Adriana's story After dealing with that psychopath I didn't date anybody for 3 years, the trauma was so hard on my trust I just couldn't bring myself to date anybody. Finally after 3 years of healing I dated a person from my workplace; I'm a teacher. It lasted only 4 months with multiple cheating on me with other …
Faith After A Life With Sociopaths
Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. When you've been entangled with sociopaths for a long period of time, few (if any) facets of your life are left untouched. Becoming a person of faith has shown me how deeply my upbringing has permeated my adult life. My sociopathic parents controlled my every move - dictating when I could bathe, eat, or sleep, what I could read, who I could be friends with (if any), what music I could listen to, what I could watch on TV. Depending on how volatile their mood was, I'd have to ask permission to speak. In her book Trauma and Recovery, Judith Herman states "The dam …
Why sociopaths keep showing up
A Lovefraud reader recently sent me the following question: I seem to only attract what I believe are sociopaths into my life even when I am not trying to find anyone. I feel as if they find me and try to befriend me. Is there some kind of an explanation for this? This reader posts as "Sam." Last year I published her story as a "Letter to Lovefraud." The explanation for her current experience is in her story. Please read it: I have no further use to him and I am being disposed of Sam's story is absolutely tragic. Here is what happened to her: She witnessed domestic violence from a very young age. She left home before she turned 15. She suffered from depression. Her …
True recovery from the sociopath through tapping and energy psychology
I believe true recovery from sociopathic betrayal is literally in our own hands. Many people have quietly become aware of a healing technique known by several names: tapping, energy psychology, emotional freedom technique (EFT). Using this approach, many people have recovered from emotional pain, physical pain, illness, anxiety, depression and PTSD. So what is it? With your fingers, you tap certain points on your body mostly on your face while bringing to mind specific aspects of the condition that you want to heal. The tapping creates an electrical charge that breaks the connection between your memory of your experience and how you feel today. It doesn't matter when the past experience …
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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: The menacing spirit
Editor's note: The following article was written by Lovefraud reader "Carmella" and refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. The subject that I've been deliberating very long and hard about posting is very sticky, very personal, and somewhat spiritually volatile, but as I reflect, I begin to see how this phenomenon has followed me throughout my life from its very beginnings. I realize that my exposure to this psychological/spiritual archetype had even caused me to "join the ranks" temporarily as I (and here is the irony) searched for an escape from it. The archetype of which I speak is that of the menacing spirit the spirit of the bored, …
Sociopaths and soul mates
I'm reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, which was the #1 New York Times bestseller when it was published in 2007. Gilbert tells her story of supposedly having everything career, marriage, home yet feeling depressed and unhappy. She left it all, got a divorce, and then spent a year abroad to find herself. She ate her way through Italy, studied spiritual practice in India, and sought to balance pleasure and divinity in Indonesia. While going through her divorce, Gilbert had a relationship with a man whom she calls "David." This didn't seem to be a sociopathic relationship, just normally dysfunctional. Although they broke up, Gilbert, from time to time, pined for David. Her …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: He kept saying God brought us together
Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Linette" sent the following email. This article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. I had been out of a different type of abusive marriage for about a year when a friend of mine sent me an ad from one of those local singles sites that she thought I should look at. I was at work and not busy at the time so I went over to the link "just for fun." At the top of the list of "ads" in big bold letters was the title, "JESUS IS LORD." "How bold!" I thought, "to be able to not be ashamed of Jesus!" In my mind I thought it was not a good idea to meet a man online, but well, I kept thinking about that …
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Dealing with unhappiness through mindfulness
Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) While I am a Christian in belief, I also read about the beliefs of various other religions and philosophies because I think there are valuable lessons in the writings of each of them. Lately as I have been increasing my study of “mindful” meditation. Since this was first practiced by Buddhists, there were some interesting points about Buddhist beliefs brought up by the author in a book I read called Mindfulness for Beginners by Jon Kabat-Zinn. This book is about mindful meditation for stress reduction, and is not a religious wor …
Religion, spirituality and sociopaths
Editor's note: This article was written by the Lovefraud reader "Adelade." It refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Religious and spiritual beliefs are of extreme importance to people. More than their beliefs of themselves, people adhere to religious and spiritual doctrines because they give them a strong sense of continuity, comfort, and meaning. Teachings and rituals often fill in the gaps of what we cannot provide to ourselves or process as a result of living, dying, and the random events in Life that cause us to question, "Why did this happen?" The first thing that an invading culture or nation does is to take away or abolish the re …
Sowing the seed of knowledge
Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) You know sometimes we tell others about the things that we have gone through, and hope that they see by our example what has happened to us because of our associations with psychopaths or with people who are high in dysfunctional traits common to psychopaths. Sometimes people “get it,” and sometimes they don't get it. A passage of the Bible refers to this: And he spake many things unto them in parables, saying Behold a sower went forth to sow; and when he sowed some seeds fell by the wayside, and the fowls came and devoured the …