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Archive for February, 2016

Please keep Lovefraud co-founder in your thoughts and prayers

 

Donna Andersen and Terry Kelly

Donna Andersen and Terry Kelly celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary at a restaurant two weeks ago.

I’ve written quite a few times about the wonderful relationship that I have with my husband, Terry Kelly. Yes, there is love after a sociopath.

Terry is my business partner in Lovefraud. He funded building the website and the printing of my books. When business decisions about Lovefraud need to be made, he’s my consultant. He even handles shipping when we receive book orders.

I’m writing this as I sit in the ICU waiting room of our local hospital. Terry suffered a heart attack on Tuesday. It’s been a long week.

Posted in: Donna Andersen

Catfish Romance Scams; Why They Should be Outlawed!

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By Joyce Short
Author: Carnal Abuse by Deceit

Catfish are swindlers who trick people into romance. They post false information on the internet to get you hooked. Catfish romance scams can happen when people don’t meet, as well as when they do. There’s no limit to how the relationship progresses.

Created with Microsoft Fresh Paint

Sexual bonding is caused by chemistry in your brain. Some people lack this brain chemistry, but for those who have a healthy dose of it, they’ll become addicted to their lover, just like if they injected or snorted an addictive drug.

Sociopaths are Superb Natural Psychologists

Natural Psycholgist

Sociopaths are superb natural psychologists, but they use their insights about human behavior to control and erode.

Past Frameworks Bias How We Perceive New Information

The world is not black and white; it includes countless shades of grey. To create meaning and clarity out of the grey, we use past frameworks (e.g., my ex-husband, “Paul,” is a good, honest person) to process incoming data (the fact that he so often works late reflects his dedication to his career and commitment to support his family). Yet, once this framework has been established, and once we create an explanation (accurate or not) for how an event fits into the framework, we have created a pathway.

The only divorce he will give me is on his terms

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call ” Terri-Anne”

I have been married close to 15 years with a sociopath from central Europe. We have three kids together. He promised me of giving our kids a good education.

I always felt this marriage is somewhat strange with my husband making excuses all the time to leave the house.

I only found out one year ago that my husband has been having sex with prostitutes. He dates them and gives them lots of money. He traveled with three of them; one to Utah, to Canada and five European countries.

Canadian Patrick Fox uses website to ruin and destroy his ex-wife


Patrick Fox and Desiree Capuano split up 14 years ago. But in 2014, Fox created a website naming his ex-wife and calling her a drug addict, child abuser and white supremacist.

Fox is angry that Capuano has custody of their son and admits that his goal is to destroy his ex-wife. He said he’d only take the website down if Capuano were dead or destitute and homeless, according to CBC News.

Fox lives in British Columbia, Canada, and Capuano lives near Tucson, Arizona. Partly because they live in different countries, Canadian authorities determined that the website was not a threat.

Posted in: Uncategorized

What happens to your brain with PTSD, and a promising technique to fix it

brainMany, many people involved with sociopaths end up with post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, symptoms of PTSD include:

  • Flashbacks
  • Bad dreams
  • Frightening thoughts
  • Staying away from places, events, or objects that are reminders of the traumatic experience
  • Feeling emotionally numb
  • Feeling strong guilt, depression or worry
  • Losing interest in activities that were enjoyable in the past
  • Having trouble remembering the dangerous event
  • Being easily startled
  • Feeling tense or “on edge”
  • Having difficulty sleeping
  • Having angry outbursts
  • Negative thoughts about oneself or the world

Sue Klebold, mother of Columbine High School shooter, tells her story on ABC 20/20

Sue Klebold

Sue Klebold, mother of Columbine killer Dylan Klebold (ABC News)

On April 20, 1999, two students from Columbine High School in Jefferson County, Colorado, went to school intending to kill as many people as possible.

In a 49-minute massacre, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold killed 12 students and one teacher, shooting many of them at point-blank range. They injured 21 additional people. Three more victims were injured trying to escape the bloodbath.

Columbine High School massacre, on Wikipedia.org.

Worried parents heard about the shooting as it was underway, and feared for the safety of their children. One of them was Sue Klebold, mother of Dylan Klebold. But Sue’s worry turned to horror when she realized that her son was one of the murderers.

If I Explain it Right, He’ll Care

ExPsychopathCover

Chapter 7
If I Explain It Right, He’ll Care

In most of our daily arguments with people we love, both sides are right. It can be mind boggling to look across the table at your partner and realize that they feel just as certain in their position as you do in yours. Some of us withdraw at the point where two “right” sides meet because we hate conflict. Some of us love that spot and try to live as much of life as possible in the state of an exciting debate. Some of us always feel we’re even more right than the other and are compelled to explain why, whether anyone else wants to hear it or not.

Little Red Riding Hood: A Sociopath’s Fairy Tale

LittleRedRidingHood

If sociopaths are so common and cause so much damage, why aren’t more of us forewarned?

Being victimized by a sociopath doesn’t just happen to a few, rare foolhardy people, it happens to lots of people—lots of everyday people who play by the rules.  I know that blaming victims of sociopaths for the harm inflicted on them or simply ignoring them is a defense mechanism for others who want to feel that they could never be victimized. Those abused must have made a stupid decision, chosen to be blind, unconsciously wanted it to happen, played a significant role in their unraveling, and so it goes.  Of course, in most cases this isn’t true, but it’s comforting and self-protecting for nonvictims to think so.

Posted in: O.N. Ward

He asked me what was wrong, and when I told him he became enraged

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Myra.”

After 2 failed marriages and one long term relationship that failed, I thought I found Prince Charming, even with the baggage that came attached.

We all have it right? The key is to find someone that accepts and loves you regardless and will help you unpack that baggage.

Long story short, I was hit with the realization that my partner was a narcissist on December 9, 2015, after getting into a severe argument with him over how I was feeling regarding the relationship.

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